Our Approach

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Marriage and Family Therapists utilize a very unique lens, called "Family Systems Theory" when treating individuals, couples, families and groups. 

What is Family Systems Theory?

 Family systems theory is a framework that views a family as an interconnected, emotional unit rather than a collection of individuals, where the behavior of each member influences and is influenced by every other member. It suggests that family problems are often the result of the system's dynamics rather than individual shortcomings, and it explores concepts like emotional patterns, communication rules, roles, and boundaries that are passed down through generations.  

Key Concepts of Family Systems Theory:

• Interconnection: The theory posits that a family is a system where each member's actions affect the whole, and the whole is more than the sum of its parts. For example, a parent's stress might lead to a short temper, which causes their spouse to become more patient with the children to maintain balance, and that this, in turn, could lead to the children showing preference for the more patient parent. By the time these patterns are identified by a Marriage and Family Therapist, they are viewed through the lens of "Systems Theory," allowing the therapist to design specific interventions at multiple levels (Parent, Couple, Child). 
• Homeostasis: All systems have a need for balance, even if the balance that has been struck is not a healthy one. Systems Theory informs therapists that change must be made gradually and progressively, to ensure that the system does not become to unbalanced. 
• Boundaries: Families have subsystems (like the parent or sibling subsystems) with their own rules, boundaries, and relationships. The clarity of these boundaries impacts family functioning. 
• Emotional patterns and cycles: Emotional patterns, anxieties, and stress responses can be passed down through generations, influencing family dynamics and relationships. 
• Differentiation of self: This refers to the ability of an individual to think for themselves and maintain their sense of self, even under family pressure for emotional closeness or conformity. 
• Triangulation: This occurs when a two-person relationship is unstable, and a third person (like a child) is brought into the dynamic to reduce tension. The two people then focus on the third instead of confronting their own issues. While Triangulation is very common, it is considered dysfunctional and serves to keep a problem persisting. 
• Rules and messages: Families operate with unwritten, repetitive rules and messages that shape member behavior over time, such as, for example, "Be perfect" or "Be responsible." These rules can lead parts of the system to behave in ways that become unhealthy, as a way to "survive."
• Emotional cutoff: This is a strategy where a person distances themselves from their family to reduce stress, often by moving away or limiting contact. 

How Systems Theory is used:

• Therapy: Therapists use this theory to identify and change unhealthy patterns within the family system, focusing on the relationships, communication and interactions between members rather than just the individual. 
• Understanding behavior: It provides a way to understand why certain behaviors or conflicts are repeated across different family members and even across generations. 
• Self-reflection: It helps individuals reflect on their own role within the family system and how they can make changes to improve relationships and their own emotional well-being. 
• Normalizing : When patterns of behavior are interrupted, and new behaviors replace the old, clients need support to understand that it will take some adjusting to the "new normal," and to ensure that homeostasis is not disturbed.